I always remain strong, & hold my own

Dated a guy who was suppose to soon be my husband. The day he proposed, for some reason I told him no. My heart said "I do" but my mind said "No". So I went with my mind. Glad I did. Our relationship turned violent. To the point I had thoughts of taking him out. He used to try and keep me from my family, I couldn't visit my mother without him becoming angry. He would sit at my job while I worked 12hr shifts to make sure I was cheating. That type of stupid shit is why I kept kickin his ass. Lol when I said "our relationship was violent" I wasn't referring to him kickin my ass. Lol oh no hunny. If a man jump up at me as if I'm a male and he can hit me, then he better be prepared to get his ass hit back. I hate for a man to try and control me. The love I have for my mom is something serious. No man can come between that. So after all his controlling ways and me catching him cheating. I decided to pack my things and leave. He grabbed my shih tzu and hung her out the window. Im like "Motherfucker this is not a scene from "Love Jones" put my damn dog back in the window before you be in her place hanging." So he gave her back to me. I slapped the hell out of him, because my animals are like my children. He grabbed me through me down the stairs and put a gun to my head. He pulled the trigger and it jammed. Wheeew, God saved me. I got up and ran. I came back to his house. He had left because he know I wasn't going to just let that go. I took a golf club, and destroyed everything in my path. I pulled out my sexy Victoria Secret pink lip gloss and left a note on his bedroom wall. It read "You Lieing, cheating, bastard, you've found the right one. Sincerely, THAT BITCH *Mwah "..He later got access to my credit card & pulled 15,00 out of a bank account that my deceased father left for me. Soooooo ya'll know I went crazy right? Betta know it. I invited him over, told him I loved him and forgave him. He entered my home, I walked over to the door, oh so sexy..locked it. Pulled out my knife and cut his ass from ear to chin. Ohhh was pissed. But I felt a little better. He later put a restraining order on me because he knew I wasn't done....I am now though..maybe