...........Let me start by saying I appreciate everything everyone ATTEMPTED to do for me. Some things I agreed to & some I was against. I made mistakes but for every bad..I did a ton of good. I'm thankful for the people I've met and the encouragement they gave. Girls who have thoughts of modeling have contacted me asking advice. My advice is..Never let this business go to your head. As quick as you've climbed that ladder, the quicker you can fall. Always show love, & support. Because you need it as well. Always speak your mind but remain professional. No, you don't have to agree with everything PEOPLE want you to do but you have a back bone..USE IT. And never lose that positive image because you have un-seen eyes on you. You're going to be faced with a tornado off bullshit. Keep fighting, your time is near and when people see that you're close to the top, they become crabs, pulling you down.As for me, I'm still learning. I need to work on my patience. So I'm stepping off the scene for a minute and working on my personal projects, mt self, my attitude. My people tell me.."Memphis, youre fans are going to be looking for you, you have people who actually look to you for that motivation. Don't leave. everyone has a moment when they wanna give up. Keep going babygirl." But I just need a break. I'm moving to fast..but I'm not moving at all. I started to lose myself. I feel like the main person I strive to make happy, I murdered her. I try to bring her back, but I keep losing signal. I got to COMFORTABLE with the little things I've acquired. The constant support, love shown when I'm out on the town, the glits & glamor. I forgot about my number one team player. Only time I remembered her is when I felt like the industry forgot about me. I look around for her for advice. Kind of like how we sometimes forget God but when things go wrong..we call upon him. But I'm truly missing my #1. I miss her rawness and her edge. Her strength & her motivation. Her leadership and her assertiveness. She never let a guy lead her own then leave her standing at the "STOP" sign without brushing it off, go her own way, & let it go. They were no match for her. But me, I was getting at these heartless cowards.She knew how to separate personal from business. Whenever I felt like giving up & ending myself..she grabbed me and held on. She held me tightly, looked in my eyes & said.."You're Not Done Yet". She stole everyone heart, changed alot of personalities, became someone people looked up to, wanted to be like, be around. With those qualities, giving up seems wrong and selfish. But I just need to grow and be able to show people some things inside of me. Love me for who I am, and not hate me for who I'm not..When I find her..I promise to return. She promised me that she'll never leave. Those words were like a lullaby. She didn't leave me, but I left her . I chased everything but my dream. So now I'm aiming to change it up. Right now she's underground, and I'm more like mainstream. But I hope one day she'll come and share it with me. Attend these meeting with me, sign these deals with me, star in these movies with me, stunt on these haters with me, by pass these niggaz with me. When they start to ridicule me, I want her to stand these grounds with me. Lol I just miss when we was just on some stupid shit.....Farewell my supporters. I love you, be back when I know EXACTLY what I want to do.
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